weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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