if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize