real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
