using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We have started to decorate penises.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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