This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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