then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
