Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
