i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
