by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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