Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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