THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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