i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
