New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
