Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it because I queefed?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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