She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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