see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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