Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
