Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
