i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
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