im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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