If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize