lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
