dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i will never coherently bang her
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
