so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
