So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize