You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
