I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
