4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
