Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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