Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
