this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
