Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
