Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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