Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
