wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
