dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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