I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
