So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
