Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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