Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
