Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Terrible idea I love it
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
