ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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