all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
