I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
