Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
