last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
