You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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