You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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