I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
