You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
