yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
being pregnant is like rehab
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
