I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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