i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize