everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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