Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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