he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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