Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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