just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
