Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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