Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
