that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
