can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
