They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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