Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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