You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
