Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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