a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
