can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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