Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
