A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
