so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
