We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
