i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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