that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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